Jurnal: scraps and pieces of life




 
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Thursday, December 18, 2003
 
When I was 19 I asked myself what I wanted as an actor. What was I searching for? Would acting make me happy? What would be my personal journey? I also made a concerted effort to have minimal financial responsibilities, so that I would be free of the burden of taking an acting role that I didn't fully believe in. I didn't want to prostitute my emotions for the sake of my own ego.

That meant sacrificing certain elements of what other people expected of me -- agents, etc -- to make sure that I kept my integrity. I discovered through acting that I came to understand things about myself I never knew and to understand people or human nature and how what we do affects other people.

Two years ago Jim Sheridan sent me the screenplay for In America and asked me to play the part of Sarah, the mother in the film. Jim's (and Kirsten and Naomi Sheridan's) screenplay was beautifully written, reading like an amazing book that haunts you. In America is autobiographical on certain levels so the role of Sarah was incredibly challenging as I was concerned about playing someone who is still very much alive and based on Jim's own wife. I didn't want to disrespect her by assuming I knew her and therefore misrepresenting her.

Many interviewers often ask me, "What was it like to play this?" or, "How did you approach this role?" Every role is different and requires a different process of preparation. I don't want any of my performances to become premeditated to a point where it's about power - you are then not serving the story. To serve a story and therefore an audience, I think, you have to give yourself to them. You have to go, "Here it is, take what you will" and then it belongs to somebody else, the most important thing, the audience.

I didn't want to approach the role of Sarah knowing that it would necessarily be in the voice of Fran, Jim's wife. Yes, it was his family's life story; however, I wanted to approach the role from an innocent sense, the way I would any other script. I didn't want to feel a responsibility inherent in performing their life's story, or being tied to the accuracy of it, I needed to have total freedom. I wanted to serve the project and perform through faith and instinct - the very qualities I felt from the script when I first read it.

What is unique about Jim is the way that he encourages exploration - and that made In America all the more inspiring for me. Jim stamps emotional blueprints on you, almost like a film negative. Enhance, encourage, and then as a team you come up with something new. I enjoy working with directors who go through every moment with an actor. For a director to be able to fine-tune an actor's performance is possibly similar to a conductor or composer working with an orchestra.

When I first arrived in New York City, I had an innocence about possibility, my connection to the people, the buildings, the supposed 'American Dream'. I feel you have a personal responsibility to try to keep that alive within yourself. I think it's very hard and an ongoing effort. But my personal connection and understanding with the Sheridan's story of In America made playing the part of Sarah and working with Jim and all the cast and crew all the more memorable for me.

--Samantha Morton on In America

Wednesday, December 17, 2003
 
"It was the best of times, it was the whompingest of times..." --Recess: All Growed Down

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Monday, December 08, 2003
 
"There is much to be said for the constructive contribution of suffering to creative and spiritual life; suffering can temper the soul." --Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

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