And Harold Pinter says...

Daily Telegraph
December 11, 2002

The American administration is a bloodthirsty wild animal
By Harold Pinter

Earlier this year, I had a major operation for cancer. The operation and its after effects were something of a nightmare. I felt I was a man unable to swim bobbing about under water in a deep dark endless ocean. But I did not drown and I am very glad to be alive.

However, I found that to emerge from a personal nightmare was to enter an infinitely more pervasive public nightmare - the nightmare of
American hysteria, ignorance, arrogance, stupidity and belligerence; the most powerful nation the world has ever known effectively waging war against the rest of the world.

"If you are not with us, you are against us," President George W. Bush has said. He has also said: "We will not allow the world's worst weapons to remain in the hands of the world's worst leaders." Quite right. Look in the mirror, chum. That's you.

America is at this moment developing advanced systems of "weapons of mass destruction" and is prepared to use them where it sees fit. It has more of them than the rest of the world put together. It has walked away from international agreements on biological and chemical weapons, refusing to allow inspection of its own factories. The hypocrisy behind its public declarations and its own actions is almost a joke.

America believes that the 3,000 deaths in New York are the only deaths that count, the only deaths that matter. They are American deaths. Other deaths are unreal, abstract, of no consequence.

The 3,000 deaths in Afghanistan are never referred to. The hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children dead through American and British sanctions which have deprived them of essential medicines are never referred to.

The effect of depleted uranium, used by America in the Gulf war, is never referred to. Radiation levels in Iraq are appallingly high. Babies are born with no brain, no eyes, no genitals. Where they do have ears, mouths or rectums, all that issues from these orifices is blood.

The 200,000 deaths in East Timor in 1975 brought about by the Indonesian government but inspired and supported by America are never referred to. The 500,000 deaths in Guatemala, Chile, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Uruguay, Argentina and Haiti, in actions supported and subsidised by America, are never referred to. The millions of deaths in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia are no longer referred to. The desperate plight of the Palestinian people, the central factor in world unrest, is hardly referred to.

But what a misjudgment of the present and what a misreading of history this is. People do not forget. They do not forget the death of their fellows, they do not forget torture and mutilation, they do not forget injustice, they do not forget oppression, they do not forget the
terrorism of mighty powers. They not only don't forget: they also strike back.

The atrocity in New York was predictable and inevitable. It was an act of retaliation against constant and systematic manifestations of state terrorism on the part of America over many years, in all parts of the world.

In Britain, the public is now being warned to be "vigilant" in preparation for potential terrorist acts. The language is in itself
preposterous. How will - or can - public vigilance be embodied? Wearing a scarf over your mouth to keep out poison gas?

However, terrorist attacks are quite likely, the inevitable result of our Prime Minister's contemptible and shameful subservience to America. Apparently a terrorist poison gas attack on the London Underground system was recently prevented.

But such an act may indeed take place. Thousands of schoolchildren travel on the Underground every day. If there is a poison gas attack from which they die, the responsibility will rest entirely on the shoulders of our Prime Minister. Needless to say, the Prime Minister does not travel on the Underground himself.

The planned war against Iraq is in fact a plan for premeditated murder of thousands of civilians in order, apparently, to rescue them from their dictator.

America and Britain are pursuing a course that can lead only to an escalation of violence throughout the world and finally to catastrophe. It is obvious, however, that America is bursting at the seams to attack Iraq.

I believe that it will do this not only to take control of Iraqi oil, but also because the American administration is now a bloodthirsty wild
animal. Bombs are its only vocabulary. Many Americans, we know, are horrified by the posture of their government, but seem to be helpless.

Unless Europe finds the solidarity, intelligence, courage and will to challenge and resist American power, Europe itself will deserve
Alexander Herzen's declaration - "We are not the doctors. We are the disease".

The article is taken from an address given by Harold Pinter on receiving an honorary degree at the University of Turin.

This message has been brought to you by ZNet (http://www.zmag.org).

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MISCELLANEOUS...

Saturday, October 05, 2002

Sad news. NEW TIMES will be shut down. For all those non-Angelenos, New Times is a freebie paper that offers up a more leftist, iconoclastic view on domestic and world politics. It hasn't eked out a profit for a while... and in the cut-throat world of journalism... that means sayonara. Too bad. I definitely liked the film critics and kinda liked some of the other journalists who worked there. It's a sad, sad day when a newspaper is forced to shut down.

Also:
A WEBSITE on film festival deadlines.

__________


Friday, October 04, 2002

Some opinions from Iraqis quoted from the NY Times.

The Stones of Baghdad
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF


"If American military strategy assumes popular support from Iraqis facilitating an invasion and occupation, the White House is making an error that could haunt us for years.


After scores of interviews with ordinary people from Mosul in the north to Basra in the south, I've reached two conclusions:


1. Iraqis dislike and distrust Saddam Hussein, particularly outside the Sunni heartland, and many Iraqis will be delighted to see him gone.


2. Iraqis hate the United States government even more than they hate Saddam, and they are even more distrustful of America's intentions than Saddam's.


"America is a new colonial power that wants to dominate," warns Rahim Majid, a farmer from Karbala.


"Americans are not coming to help us, but for our oil," frets Naseem Jawad, a merchant in Najaf.


My own reaction to that. Too true. Too true.
__________


There is a new opera out by Philip Glass and it's something I had to note here. He is one of my favorite composers (along with Zbigniew Preisner, composer of all Krzysztof Kieslowski's films) and I have found myself in numerous debates in his defense. I argue Philip Glass is a genius. Others argue, he's not. Anyway, another link to the NY Times on his latest work, "Galileo Galilei" (see article).

Here is an excerpt. The entire article is a little too lengthy to post.


A Heretical Astronomer Rethinking His Revolution
By ALLAN KOZINN


"...Galileo's life offers ample drama for the opera stage, as well as a good measure of philosophy about the often fraught relationship between religion and science. Mr. Glass, Ms. Zimmerman and Mr. Weinstein present his story in reverse chronology; it is the operatic equivalent of the film "Memento."


That approach seems right: we meet Galileo as a blind old man doubting some of his choices and priorities, and as the 95-minute work unfolds we see his disavowal of his support for the Copernican notion that the earth is not the center of the solar system, his appearance before the Inquisition, an enactment of the reasoning he presented in "Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief Systems of the World," and a few of his early moments of experimentation and discovery. As an epilogue, we see him as a child, attending an opera by his father, the composer Vincenzo Galilei, and using his program as a telescope.


Mr. Glass's music, which the Eos Orchestra played expertly under William Lumpkin's direction, has a spare, chamber quality that allows the vocal lines (and text) to be heard clearly — a good thing, since supertitles are provided only intermittently. Several of his longstanding signature moves make appearances (syncopated brass chords, for example), but there are some new touches as well, including a bit of invigorating dissonance. Much of the vocal writing is familiar Glassian declamation, but there are some sweetly lyrical touches, too, including a lovely aria for Galileo's daughter, sung affectingly by Alicia Berneche.


John Duykers sang the aged Galileo's music powerfully, and if Eugene Perry sounded a bit dry as the younger Galileo (who takes over midway through the work), he conveyed a sense of the scientist's philosophical robustness. Andrew Funk also made strong contributions as the Pope (and in several smaller roles).


The production runs through Saturday."
__________


11:29 AM

Once upon a time--a long, long time ago--when I was in a third-world country, getting up at two in the morning to write meant complete and utter quiet. It was understood that writing in the wee hours meant concentration, stillness, and a certain serenity. The city was, for all intensive purposes, dead.

Things are pretty damn different here in L.A. Not only is half the town up writing as well, the other half is either shooting a film/porno/indie or sitting in a jacuzzi (my neighbors). Their voices, incidentally, are the reason I'm up in the first place.


All that to say, I'm having trouble sleeping and thought I'd get a little work done on my website and on some of my writing. I can still hear my neighbor's conversation from the computer. Are they that loud? Is it possible? At two in the morning?! And no, it doesn't really bother me so much as it surprises me.


So that's it. Just a little note penned in utter boredom.
__________


2:22 AM


Wednesday, October 02, 2002

I've linked to an interesting NY Times article on an Afghan film, "FireDancer" (see article) which will be playing in New York at the Quad cinema for a week, starting December 19, to qualify for the Academy Awards. For those of you in New York, please check it out. It hasn't found distribution yet and the story surrounding the death of the director is a little eerie. The NY Times is ocassionally iffy about letting in non-members, so I've also posted the article below. You can link or just scroll down...

Tragedy Haunts Film on Afghan Diaspora
By DINITIA SMITH


Sometimes it seems to Jawed Wassel's Afghan-American friends in New York that his ghost hovers over his unfinished film, "FireDancer." As they struggle to complete the editing of "FireDancer," about the efforts of Afghans to assimilate into American culture, they say they feel the presence of its murdered creator among them. When there's a sudden gust of wind, an electrical short — it is as if Mr. Wassel were sitting there with them, as still and as calm as ever in the midst of chaos, said Vida Zaher-Khadem, the associate director. "I don't think I've ever believed that he is dead," she added.


Last Oct. 4 Mr. Wassel's dismembered body was found in a van on Long Island belonging to Nathan C. Powell, one of the producers of "FireDancer." Police arrested Mr. Powell and charged him with murdering Mr. Wassel, who was 42, after the two argued over Mr. Powell's stake in the film. Mr. Powell pleaded not guilty to the charge, and he is scheduled to go on trial for second-degree murder in Nassau County on Nov. 20.


"FireDancer" is described by its producers as the first dramatic feature about Afghan-Americans, some of whom immigrated to the United States to escape from the Soviet invasion and the rule of the Taliban. The film which does not have a distributor yet, is scheduled to be shown at the Quad Cinema in Manhattan for one week beginning on Dec. 19 to make it eligible for the Academy Awards.


The film tells the story of Haris (played by Baktash Zaher, 26, Ms. Zaher-Khadem's brother), a hip, handsome Afghan-American artist who shows his work at a downtown Manhattan art gallery. He seems to be an all-American guy except that he creates strange installations of hanging ropes, and suffers from visions — of himself as a child in Afghanistan in traditional dress, of smoke and bombs, of his dead parents and the Russian soldier who shot them during the Soviet invasion.


Haris embarks on a journey through the world of Afghan-Americans to learn more about their culture, and there he finds both humor and tragedy. He befriends Sunny, an Afghan immigrant hot dog vendor, whose son is a would-be rapper. "Show Uncle Haris what you can do," Sunny tells the youth. The young man raps maniacally, "For my hip culture I will fight/ With two fists clenched tight."


Sunny offers Haris his own wry perspective on Afghanistan's endless civil wars. Haris has nightmares, Sunny tells him, because he has been away from his people. "But I have them," Sunny says, "because I'm with them 24 hours a day."


Haris falls for Laila, a fashion designer who still carries the expectations of her traditional parents. Laila doesn't talk to Afghan men, she says, "because they jump from, you know, `hello' to marriage."


Later, in a cafe, when the two argue over what to drink, the waiter hovering over them quips, "You must be Afghans." When Haris asks how he knows, the waiter replies, "Because you can't agree on anything."


The Afghan-American women are still expected to marry men their parents choose, and to obey even younger brothers: "Let me tell you something," Laila's little brother, Farhad, says. "You're not going to date no one. You're not going to go to no clubs, and you're not going to marry someone who is not Afghan."


Ms. Zaher-Khadem said that some Afghan-American women who appeared in the film used stage names for fear of censure from their conservative families.


Last month, when the producers flew to Afghanistan to screen a rough cut of "FireDancer" in Kabul's soccer stadium, once the Taliban's execution ground, Islamic fundamentalist demonstrators disrupted the event to protest scenes of women in low-neck, sleeveless dresses. To calm them, Ms. Zaher-Khadem put her hand over the lens to blot out the offending images, only to have others among the 2,000 people in attendance roar their disapproval.


Mr. Wassel was born in Kabul in 1958. His father was an army general who died of natural causes when Jawed was 18 months old. His great-grandfather was a poet. Mr. Wassel went to the French Lycée Istiqlaal, in Kabul where he dreamed of becoming a filmmaker. In 1979, after the Soviet invasion, his mother sent him to Pakistan for safety and he later lived in France and Germany.


In 1985 Mr. Wassel came to the United States. He graduated from Hunter College and worked as an assistant director and acting instructor Off Broadway. It was at Hunter that he met Mr. Powell, who is today accused of murdering him.


In 1998 Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, Mr. Wassel ran into Mr. Powell on the street, and asked for help in raising money for his film. Mr. Powell's lawyer, Thomas J. Liotti, said that Mr. Powell had studied film at Columbia and wanted to make movies.


Eventually, Mr. Wassel raised about $500,000, Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, much of it from the Afghan diaspora. She said that Mr. Powell did not put money into the film.


Mr. Powell said in a telephone interview from Nassau County jail where he is awaiting trial that he murdered Mr. Wassel because "I believed he had contacts with the Taliban." He said that Mr. Wassel had visited Afghanistan before the Sept. 11 attacks. Mr. Powell also said that Mr. Wassel, "threatened to kill me." He dismembered Mr. Wassel's body, he said, because "it was an honor killing."


Mr. Wassel's friends called talk that he was a Taliban sympathizer ridiculous. "Jawed hated the Taliban," Ms. Zaher-Khadem said.


The summer before the attacks, she said, Mr. Wassel and the filmmakers went to Afghanistan with the permission of the Taliban to film a documentary called "Return to Afghanistan." The group left out of concern for their safety, Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, after members of a Bible group were arrested for teaching Christianity to Afghans.


"FireDancer," Mr. Wassel's feature film, was shot in New York and metropolitan Washington with an almost all-Afghan cast.


Mr. Wassel met Ms. Zaher-Khadem, 28, and her brother Baktash, when he put up a casting notice at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va., which has many Afghan-American students and from which Ms. Zaher-Khadem graduated. Their grandfather Qhyamuddin Khadem was an Afghan poet and government official. Their mother, Zeba Khadem, has been a broadcaster to Afghanistan for the Voice of America for 20 years.


In many ways, "FireDancer" represents a collaboration between Afghanistan's traditional warring groups. The Khadems are Pashtun and Sunni Muslims, and Mr. Wassel was Tajik and Shiite.


All were American citizens, but after the Sept. 11 attacks, F.B.I. agents questioned them, they said. Baktash Zaher had graduated from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, in Daytona Beach, Fla. It was believed that some of the hijackers may have taken flying lessons there. Mr. Zaher said that after Sept. 11, he voluntarily got in touch with the F.B.I. through a lawyer and notified it that he had gone to Embry. He said that a few days later, at 4 a.m., F.B.I. agents came to the apartment he shared with Mr. Wassel. After interviewing them the F.B.I. did not contact them further, Mr. Zaher said. (It was later determined that none of the hijackers of the terrorist attacks had attended Embry-Riddle.)


On Oct. 4 last year, Mr. Wassel was scheduled to attend a screening for investors in "FireDancer" at DuArt Film and Video on West 55th Street in Manhattan. "He didn't show up," Ms. Zaher-Khadem said. It was an important screening and his colleagues worried when he didn't arrive. "We had called the cops," she added. Ms. Zaher-Khaden recalled that when Mr. Powell arrived at the screening and sat down next to her, "I said, `Where is Jawed?' He said, `I saw him going toward the F train yesterday.' "


That night, Nassau County police officers said, they spotted Mr. Powell's van weaving near the entrance to Bethpage State Park. They stopped it, they said, and found two boxes of body parts in the back. Later, the officers added, Mr. Wassel's head was found in Mr. Powell's freezer in his Long Island City apartment, next to the moving company where he worked.


In making "FireDancer," Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, Mr. Wassel found himself by entering into the world of Afghan-Americans. "He wanted to find out about his community. He was taken away from it at 16, at an age when you still want to know who you are. That was Jawed's struggle. When he was trying to raise money, he would meet all these people. It was the first time he had gone into these communities."


"Jawed did feel the loss of his father growing up," she said. "He felt survivor's guilt, having left Afghanistan and not doing anything during the war."


"In the film, the further the character is from himself, the darker those images are," she said. But as he draws closer to his own traditions, she added, "Slowly, it goes away."
__________

 
An interesting quote:

"When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action... when you desire a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it. " --Lois McMaster Bujold, writer
(1949- )

__________

 

"I can never read reviews of my own movies. I'm terrified to find out what the barbaric world thinks of my trembly filmic dreams and, by extension, my overly frangible soul."

Guy Maddin, Very Lush and Full of Ostriches, The Village Voice (New York), Aug 7, 2001.

__________

 
You always hope that your films will get somewhere, that they'll affect someone, that people will respond. And as nice as it would be to work in isolation, to create in isolation, it's impossible. Films needs an audience. I don't know if that's always a good thing.

__________

 
Happy Birthday.

__________

 
Ellen Kuras is an incredible DP, having photographed such films as "Summer of Sam," "Blow," and "I shot Andy Warhol." I've linked to an interview with her.

__________

 
Film News

"Last month, Cuban artist Salvador Gonzalez, subject of a documentary by Bette Wanderman, was denied an entry visa into the U.S. for the October 11 premiere of the film about his life. The State Department, under the Enhanced Border Security and Visa Reform Act, requires applicants from seven countries, including Cuba, to undergo extra background checks, because they're named as "state sponsors of terrorism.""

I've quoted this from an article. Read the rest of it here.

Other news:
Kodak screenings for anyone in Los Angeles. I've posted the message they sent me below. It's good information if you're a DP or director and thinking about what film stock to shoot a project on.

EASTMAN KODAK CORDIALLY INVITES YOU TO JOIN US AT OUR WEEKLY FILM DEMO SCREENINGS

Each Tuesday, from 10:00 a.m. - noon in our screening Room at 6700 Santa Monica Blvd at Las Palmas (2 blocks East of Highland), we hold demo screening of our various film stocks.

In addition to these technical demonstrations, we may also show demos highlighting various specialized films
(infrared, black-and-white, reversal) and
special lab processes (cross-process, bleach-by-pass)
or a comparison of 35 mm film to 24p HD capture.

Please RSVP to Aaron Safra at: 323-468-1504 and include your name, phone number and the date you'll be attending (in case we need to reach you due to an unexpected cancellation.
__________

 
It's always scary subjecting yourself to the rawest form of your work everyday, watching the mistakes over and over, and then trying to brush over them carefully, pretending they didn't happen. Always a little humbling. Even more humblng is the fact that you rarely make these cover-ups alone, artfully masking cinematic flaws. You need, as I do, someone more skilled to guide you in the process.

...an editor.
__________

 
In the end, you try not to disappoint your actors, you try and give them what they expected... or even more. You hope that they watch the film and think it's good, that it was worth working on, it was worth going through the rehearsals, it was worth their time. In the end, that's the foremost thought going through your mind. When all's said and done.

__________

 
Tim McCann is a filmmaker who has taken on the intimidating role of self-distributing his films. His new feature (his second), Revolution #9, will open in New York and Chicago this Friday, November 15th. Here's an interview on him. It's worth reading.
...

 
I think every American should see Bowling for Columbine, the new documentary about guns, Columbine, and American fears. Whether you agree with the political views or not, there are some truths explored that should not and cannot be overlooked.
...

 
I'm not an authority on Middle-Eastern politics or any politics for that matter. So my voice is merely an opinion. But it seems to me, that an American invasion of Iraq seems awfully similar to colonization. Much like what the European colonists (Portugal, France, England, Spain) said when they colonized Asia, Africa and South America. It was something to the effect of showing these countries a better and more civilized way of life (while taking the countries resources to make their own richer--the gold in West Africa, the diamonds in South Africa, spices in Asia). Replace the words. American wants to show Iraq a better/more civilized way of life (democracy) by way of arguing that they are ridding the country of a dictator, replacing him with an American-friendly leader, and then using the countries resources (oil) to make American corporations richer. Why is everyone letting this happen?!

Again, I'm no political pundit but I've done my time in a formerly colonized nation and it's not pretty. If this is really about democracy, how come George Bush isn't sending U.N representatives into Iraq to ask what the Iraqi's want?

Some opinions from Iraqis quoted from the NY Times.

The Stones of Baghdad
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

"If American military strategy assumes popular support from Iraqis facilitating an invasion and occupation, the White House is making an error that could haunt us for years.

After scores of interviews with ordinary people from Mosul in the north to Basra in the south, I've reached two conclusions:

1. Iraqis dislike and distrust Saddam Hussein, particularly outside the Sunni heartland, and many Iraqis will be delighted to see him gone.

2. Iraqis hate the United States government even more than they hate Saddam, and they are even more distrustful of America's intentions than Saddam's.

"America is a new colonial power that wants to dominate," warns Rahim Majid, a farmer from Karbala.

"Americans are not coming to help us, but for our oil," frets Naseem Jawad, a merchant in Najaf.

My own reaction to that. Too true. Too true.
...

 
I am a sucker for research experiments posted in newspapers. I scour them weekly, daily, looking for any experiment I may be eligible for. No lofty, moral reasons. Just... I need the money.

Ironically enough, they never take me. I can't figure it out. I fake depression when they need depression. I do perfectly healthy when they need perfectly healthy. I show them stress when they need stress. And I never make it in. I mean, I have to fit one of them. Couple days ago, I clipped another research experiment from a newspaper. It's for healthy volunteers, smokers and non-smokers. That's inclusive of the entire world. How can I not get in?

I'll give them a call tomorrow.
...

 
A passing thought... a comment made at a party was this. If California were to seccede and become its own country, it would effectively knock France one down from it's economic standing. All thanks to Hollywood and Silicon Valley.

Well, if that's the case, why can't California start simple? Why can't it funnel some of that dough into it's infrastructure? No-one's interesting in becoming a separate country. We're just interested in fixing the roads! And while I'm on the subject of infrastructure, they could also think about sprucing up an otherwise sterile LAX.

What did I really want to say though? It wasn't the roads (though that's bothered me for a while). It's the latest and sad news that NEW TIMES will be shut down. For all those non-Angelenos, New Times is a freebie paper that offers up a more leftist, iconoclastic view on domestic and world politics. It hasn't eked out a profit for a while... and in the cut-throat world of journalism... that means sayonara. Too bad. I definitely liked the film critics and kinda liked some of the other journalists who worked there. It's a sad, sad day when a newspaper is forced to shut down.
...

 
I know this is predominantly a film website, hence the title, but there is a new opera out by Philip Glass and it's something I had to note here. He is one of my favorite composers (along with Zbigniew Preisner, composer of all Krzysztof Kieslowski's films) and I have found myself in numerous debates in his defense. I argue Philip Glass is a genius. Others argue, he's not. Anyway, another link to the NY Times on his latest work, "Galileo Galilei" (see article).

Here is an excerpt. The entire article is a little too lengthy to post.

A Heretical Astronomer Rethinking His Revolution
By ALLAN KOZINN

"...Galileo's life offers ample drama for the opera stage, as well as a good measure of philosophy about the often fraught relationship between religion and science. Mr. Glass, Ms. Zimmerman and Mr. Weinstein present his story in reverse chronology; it is the operatic equivalent of the film "Memento."

That approach seems right: we meet Galileo as a blind old man doubting some of his choices and priorities, and as the 95-minute work unfolds we see his disavowal of his support for the Copernican notion that the earth is not the center of the solar system, his appearance before the Inquisition, an enactment of the reasoning he presented in "Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief Systems of the World," and a few of his early moments of experimentation and discovery. As an epilogue, we see him as a child, attending an opera by his father, the composer Vincenzo Galilei, and using his program as a telescope.

Mr. Glass's music, which the Eos Orchestra played expertly under William Lumpkin's direction, has a spare, chamber quality that allows the vocal lines (and text) to be heard clearly — a good thing, since supertitles are provided only intermittently. Several of his longstanding signature moves make appearances (syncopated brass chords, for example), but there are some new touches as well, including a bit of invigorating dissonance. Much of the vocal writing is familiar Glassian declamation, but there are some sweetly lyrical touches, too, including a lovely aria for Galileo's daughter, sung affectingly by Alicia Berneche.

John Duykers sang the aged Galileo's music powerfully, and if Eugene Perry sounded a bit dry as the younger Galileo (who takes over midway through the work), he conveyed a sense of the scientist's philosophical robustness. Andrew Funk also made strong contributions as the Pope (and in several smaller roles).

The production runs through Saturday."
...

 
Once upon a time--a long, long time ago--when I was in a third-world country, getting up at two in the morning to write meant complete and utter quiet. It was understood that writing in the wee hours meant concentration, stillness, and a certain serenity. The city was , for all intensive purposes, dead.

Things are pretty damn different here in L.A. Not only is half the town up writing as well, the other half is either shooting a film/porno/indie or sitting in a jacuzzi (my neighbors). Their voices, incidentally, are the reason I'm up in the first place.

All that to say, I'm having trouble sleeping and thought I'd get a little work done on my website and on some of my writing. I can still hear my neighbor's conversation from the computer. Are they that loud? Is it possible? At two in the morning?! And no, it doesn't really bother me so much as it surprises me.

So that's it. Just a little note penned in utter boredom.
...

 
I've linked to an interesting NY Times article on an Afghan film, "FireDancer" (see article) which will be playing in New York at the Quad cinema for a week, starting December 19, to qualify for the Academy Awards. For those of you in New York, please check it out. It hasn't found distribution yet and the story surrounding the death of the director is a little eerie. The NY Times is ocassionally iffy about letting in non-members, so I've also posted the article below. You can link or just scroll down...

Tragedy Haunts Film on Afghan Diaspora
By DINITIA SMITH

Sometimes it seems to Jawed Wassel's Afghan-American friends in New York that his ghost hovers over his unfinished film, "FireDancer." As they struggle to complete the editing of "FireDancer," about the efforts of Afghans to assimilate into American culture, they say they feel the presence of its murdered creator among them. When there's a sudden gust of wind, an electrical short — it is as if Mr. Wassel were sitting there with them, as still and as calm as ever in the midst of chaos, said Vida Zaher-Khadem, the associate director. "I don't think I've ever believed that he is dead," she added.

Last Oct. 4 Mr. Wassel's dismembered body was found in a van on Long Island belonging to Nathan C. Powell, one of the producers of "FireDancer." Police arrested Mr. Powell and charged him with murdering Mr. Wassel, who was 42, after the two argued over Mr. Powell's stake in the film. Mr. Powell pleaded not guilty to the charge, and he is scheduled to go on trial for second-degree murder in Nassau County on Nov. 20.

"FireDancer" is described by its producers as the first dramatic feature about Afghan-Americans, some of whom immigrated to the United States to escape from the Soviet invasion and the rule of the Taliban. The film which does not have a distributor yet, is scheduled to be shown at the Quad Cinema in Manhattan for one week beginning on Dec. 19 to make it eligible for the Academy Awards.

The film tells the story of Haris (played by Baktash Zaher, 26, Ms. Zaher-Khadem's brother), a hip, handsome Afghan-American artist who shows his work at a downtown Manhattan art gallery. He seems to be an all-American guy except that he creates strange installations of hanging ropes, and suffers from visions — of himself as a child in Afghanistan in traditional dress, of smoke and bombs, of his dead parents and the Russian soldier who shot them during the Soviet invasion.

Haris embarks on a journey through the world of Afghan-Americans to learn more about their culture, and there he finds both humor and tragedy. He befriends Sunny, an Afghan immigrant hot dog vendor, whose son is a would-be rapper. "Show Uncle Haris what you can do," Sunny tells the youth. The young man raps maniacally, "For my hip culture I will fight/ With two fists clenched tight."

Sunny offers Haris his own wry perspective on Afghanistan's endless civil wars. Haris has nightmares, Sunny tells him, because he has been away from his people. "But I have them," Sunny says, "because I'm with them 24 hours a day."

Haris falls for Laila, a fashion designer who still carries the expectations of her traditional parents. Laila doesn't talk to Afghan men, she says, "because they jump from, you know, `hello' to marriage."

Later, in a cafe, when the two argue over what to drink, the waiter hovering over them quips, "You must be Afghans." When Haris asks how he knows, the waiter replies, "Because you can't agree on anything."

The Afghan-American women are still expected to marry men their parents choose, and to obey even younger brothers: "Let me tell you something," Laila's little brother, Farhad, says. "You're not going to date no one. You're not going to go to no clubs, and you're not going to marry someone who is not Afghan."

Ms. Zaher-Khadem said that some Afghan-American women who appeared in the film used stage names for fear of censure from their conservative families.

Last month, when the producers flew to Afghanistan to screen a rough cut of "FireDancer" in Kabul's soccer stadium, once the Taliban's execution ground, Islamic fundamentalist demonstrators disrupted the event to protest scenes of women in low-neck, sleeveless dresses. To calm them, Ms. Zaher-Khadem put her hand over the lens to blot out the offending images, only to have others among the 2,000 people in attendance roar their disapproval.

Mr. Wassel was born in Kabul in 1958. His father was an army general who died of natural causes when Jawed was 18 months old. His great-grandfather was a poet. Mr. Wassel went to the French Lycée Istiqlaal, in Kabul where he dreamed of becoming a filmmaker. In 1979, after the Soviet invasion, his mother sent him to Pakistan for safety and he later lived in France and Germany.

In 1985 Mr. Wassel came to the United States. He graduated from Hunter College and worked as an assistant director and acting instructor Off Broadway. It was at Hunter that he met Mr. Powell, who is today accused of murdering him.

In 1998 Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, Mr. Wassel ran into Mr. Powell on the street, and asked for help in raising money for his film. Mr. Powell's lawyer, Thomas J. Liotti, said that Mr. Powell had studied film at Columbia and wanted to make movies.

Eventually, Mr. Wassel raised about $500,000, Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, much of it from the Afghan diaspora. She said that Mr. Powell did not put money into the film.

Mr. Powell said in a telephone interview from Nassau County jail where he is awaiting trial that he murdered Mr. Wassel because "I believed he had contacts with the Taliban." He said that Mr. Wassel had visited Afghanistan before the Sept. 11 attacks. Mr. Powell also said that Mr. Wassel, "threatened to kill me." He dismembered Mr. Wassel's body, he said, because "it was an honor killing."

Mr. Wassel's friends called talk that he was a Taliban sympathizer ridiculous. "Jawed hated the Taliban," Ms. Zaher-Khadem said.

The summer before the attacks, she said, Mr. Wassel and the filmmakers went to Afghanistan with the permission of the Taliban to film a documentary called "Return to Afghanistan." The group left out of concern for their safety, Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, after members of a Bible group were arrested for teaching Christianity to Afghans.

"FireDancer," Mr. Wassel's feature film, was shot in New York and metropolitan Washington with an almost all-Afghan cast.

Mr. Wassel met Ms. Zaher-Khadem, 28, and her brother Baktash, when he put up a casting notice at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va., which has many Afghan-American students and from which Ms. Zaher-Khadem graduated. Their grandfather Qhyamuddin Khadem was an Afghan poet and government official. Their mother, Zeba Khadem, has been a broadcaster to Afghanistan for the Voice of America for 20 years.

In many ways, "FireDancer" represents a collaboration between Afghanistan's traditional warring groups. The Khadems are Pashtun and Sunni Muslims, and Mr. Wassel was Tajik and Shiite.

All were American citizens, but after the Sept. 11 attacks, F.B.I. agents questioned them, they said. Baktash Zaher had graduated from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, in Daytona Beach, Fla. It was believed that some of the hijackers may have taken flying lessons there. Mr. Zaher said that after Sept. 11, he voluntarily got in touch with the F.B.I. through a lawyer and notified it that he had gone to Embry. He said that a few days later, at 4 a.m., F.B.I. agents came to the apartment he shared with Mr. Wassel. After interviewing them the F.B.I. did not contact them further, Mr. Zaher said. (It was later determined that none of the hijackers of the terrorist attacks had attended Embry-Riddle.)

On Oct. 4 last year, Mr. Wassel was scheduled to attend a screening for investors in "FireDancer" at DuArt Film and Video on West 55th Street in Manhattan. "He didn't show up," Ms. Zaher-Khadem said. It was an important screening and his colleagues worried when he didn't arrive. "We had called the cops," she added. Ms. Zaher-Khaden recalled that when Mr. Powell arrived at the screening and sat down next to her, "I said, `Where is Jawed?' He said, `I saw him going toward the F train yesterday.' "

That night, Nassau County police officers said, they spotted Mr. Powell's van weaving near the entrance to Bethpage State Park. They stopped it, they said, and found two boxes of body parts in the back. Later, the officers added, Mr. Wassel's head was found in Mr. Powell's freezer in his Long Island City apartment, next to the moving company where he worked.

In making "FireDancer," Ms. Zaher-Khadem said, Mr. Wassel found himself by entering into the world of Afghan-Americans. "He wanted to find out about his community. He was taken away from it at 16, at an age when you still want to know who you are. That was Jawed's struggle. When he was trying to raise money, he would meet all these people. It was the first time he had gone into these communities."

"Jawed did feel the loss of his father growing up," she said. "He felt survivor's guilt, having left Afghanistan and not doing anything during the war."

"In the film, the further the character is from himself, the darker those images are," she said. But as he draws closer to his own traditions, she added, "Slowly, it goes away."
...

 
Today I went to see a screening of Welcome to Collinwood and while I was in line, I happened to run into a friend who had come along with other friends/work-mates. There was a little bit of a wait so we got to know each other, revealed a little about ourselves, made comments on not so important things... the usual introductory/stiff chit-chat.

And what I discovered, and it sounds awfully mean, is that I just don't feel comfortable around studio exec types. They were from a small studio, a certain famous actor's production company, but they were so... sterile. My friend has been there four weeks and she's usually this wild, uninhibited and free spirit. This new persona, suddenly done up in a suit, just didn't seem to be her. Then I thought, I guess if she's learning and growing and she's happy, why not? Still, after the forced conversations and the okay-but-not-great movie, I ducked out early so as not to feel the need to force more conversation and more meaningless dialogue.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. But there's something very real and interesting and true about people who work outside the film industry. And even though I write and direct films, something has become very apparent to me. It's something I've been in denial with for a while 'cos I've tried hard to mix, feel comfortable, fit in. And I don't. So I came to terms with myself tonight and admitted certain truths. I just don't want to spend my time around office-studio types. They're dull. They're elitist. They're from a world that I never want to identify myself with... even if, my chosen career, means working intimately with said people. It's ironic how much I can love film, love making films, and hate the very people that work in them. It's sort of sad.
...

 
Just watched Asia Argento's directorial debut, Scarlet Diva and thought it was great--bold, daring, so open in an indulgent sort of way. I'd definitely recommend it. It opened today.

It's also very inspiring... as I go in and edit my own film. Not that they're similar. It's just, I don't know, I guess the boldness of it got to me.
...

 
Today was one of those days that was interesting because it was painful and it was a realization that I need to make certain key decisions with my life.

But first things first... I was sitting in the movie theater with a friend (watching Igby goes down) and I happened to ask about his relationship with this stripper that he picked up off the street. She seemed nice and sweet (except for a heavy speed habit) but otherwise someone who'd just had a stroke of bad luck. And he told me how things seemed to be going well in the beginning (isn't that how it always is?) and now, whenever she's over, she never wants to leave and when she has to leave she cries (big crocodile tears) and she talks too much and never wants to shut up and in so many words, that the relationship is basically coming to an end. So I ask, well if she talks too much, what does she say? And the answer is, that she talks about her prostitute mother and her pimp father and her pimp uncle and how her pimp uncle wants to recruit her into his little prostitute ring. Her uncle! And my friend just puts his hands over his ears and thinks, "Enough with the depressing stories. Enough!"

To be fair to my friend, I can certainly understand that his tolerance level had hit it's peak, but all the while, I was thinking... How sad. That's all. Just how fuckin' sad.

And at the end of the day, after I drop him off at the record store, I think about all the bills and all the creditors and how I gotta make some key decisions in my life if I wanna get out of this rut that I'm in.

Now I know these two things have nothing to do with each other but the fact that it all took place in one day leaves me feeling, well, kinda... depressed and sad and lucky too (I guess 'cuz I didn't have a prostitute mother and a pimp father). But all those emotions rolled into one just affected me. You know what I mean? So I thought I'd write it down.
...

 
writing, writing, writing
I can't seem to stop writing
It's got me tense and wired
and I'm getting out of bed at
strange hours
'cuz I can't seem to do anything else
other than write.

It's very bizarre
...

 
"Lump a thousand families together in
a single neighborhood and you have a
floating population of teen-agers
who are hostile and afraid
who flock together
looking for security
and a sense of belonging.
They will create a home for themselves
by fighting for a 'turf' which is theirs
and which no stranger can violate.
This is their fortress.
It is marked out with military precision."
--The Cross and the Switchblade

 
there's something to be said about the horse
in George Orwell's Animal Farm
the metaphor for the abused worker
who gives to the state
and never reaps the reward

not that I wanna be him
BUT...
taking his words out of context
and applying them to my film career
they suddenly start to make sense.

"I will work harder. I will work harder. I will work harder."

makes sense.
...

 
today is a good day.
because I believed
then I didn't
and then I did again.

It sounds like garbage

but it really isn't.
...

 
I've never been a religious person
always feelin' that I had to do things
on my own
without the help of anyone
in the face of so much resistance and adversity.
But suddenly I'm beginning to believe
that things happen for a reason
and sometimes I did
but I was always skeptical
even though I acknowledged the ocassional incident.
And now... it's different.
It sounds simplistic
like some kind of excuse or easy explanation
to say that a door shut for a reason
that a phone-call was for a reason.
but I think it's true
I see it now.
and that's not to say that I'll become this born-again christian
(something I have no interest in)
but I do have a belief now
that there's a direction
there's a path I need to follow
and that the specifics ARE explainable
and that they HAPPEN for a reason.

It's a revelation for me today.
Encouragement.
almost... I don't know...

A new awakening.
...

 
Hmm...I am so friggin' bored
it's unbelievable.
It's 5: 20 in the morning!
How the fuck can I be bored?

But I am.
...

 
For the first time in my life I feel lost
and it's scary 'cuz I don't know what to do.
Literally.
I mean, I know that I'll make films
that I'll always make films
but I mean, I don't know what
to do on a day-to-day basis.
I'm functioning.
That's it.
Not fighting.
Just functioning.
And my God that's scary.

So I keep thinkin' that if I keep doing it
something will happen
even though, for the moment, I'm doing it all alone
so when I say something will happen
I mean that someone will grab my hand
at least that's what I hope

But, in reality, will something really happen?

and everyone has given up on me
including my mother
and that's a hard thing to deal with
because then I really feel like I'm in this alone
but really alone
like I can't talk to/share/describe this with anyone
and it would be so easy to give up this ambition
this obsession really
and go into something tamer, safer
but I can't do it
I just can't do it
and I know... I know
that as hard as I'm struggling
as low down as I go
I just won't give up this dream.
...

 
I'm tired.
Really, really tired of going it on my own.
And I understand the industry is hard.
I understand that persistence is key
(despite what it seems like, I've got persistence comin' out
of every damn orifice).

But I'm still spent. And really, really tired.
...

Note to self
whining
gets really tiring after a while
(exhausting for me too)
so a mental note daily:
keep the whining down to a minimum
even if, on occasion,
I get to splurge.